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AALIAHBABA

I come alive at night.

For the past two years, I’ve been too busy to think. It’s been school, family, internships, friends, work, THE, social media, etc. Every time I pick up a pen and write in my journal, it’s been about a pressing matter; a particular situation or person or feeling that would have been otherwise fleeting. But I can’t seem to find to really, truly think about my life and make sense of everything. 

Graduation is in less than two months! As much as I’m excited about that, I’m scared of making the big decisions. There is so much I want to do. Too many directions, but I find need the courage to walk down a road not taken.

This spring break, I’ve found myself picking up my pen and writing about things that matter to me. I’ve thought about the past 10 years. How much has changed. How much remains the same. They’re so much I want to hold on to. And so much I want to move past. 

These are the most important days of lives. 

Chasing the Spirits

After watching a clip from The Sixth Sense in class today, my professor turned to me and said “jinn.” I was a little surprised he was using an Arabic word, an Islamic one specifically. But he’d said “alhamdulilah” to me before, so I wasn’t that shocked. 

After class, I asked him if he believed in Jinn and he said yes, of course he did. We had a conversation about whether people who claim to see spirits are delusional or if such a thing does exist. I know it definitely depends on whether or not one believes in the existence of those spirits, but I wouldn’t think a psychologist and professor would think that is wasn’t schizophrenia.

Anywho, this conversation led to one about religion. We talked about ambiguity and uncertainty. I told him there was no option but to be cool with uncertainty, cause nine times out of ten you will never know for sure whether what you have is really the truth. It’s crazy how much I have in common with my older, Christian, African American professor. He told me more about his unconventional beliefs and how he believed in all religions. I told him we can never tell what people believe by just looking at them. 

In all the walks of your life, you will be surrounded by people more similar to you than you ever imagined. Will you reach out or will you stand there and hear your own cries?

The Young and Faceless.

Things I can’t wait to do

1. Wake up early to watch the Sun rise each morning. 

2. Find hidden places to take pictures in. Empty roads and alleys. The heart of a forest. A forgotten house. A deserted playground. 

3. Make smoothies and try the awesome recipes I find online.

4. Interview people I find interesting.

5. Write my novel!

6. Decorate my room in the cane house (if we ever build it)

7. Plant a Truffula Tree!

8. Make a record of all the books I read on my Goodreads account.

9. Make a college years scrapbook.

10. Use my Smash book for building a life map for happiness: Love, Work, Community.

11. Volunteer at an elderly home and orphanage. 

12. Make cards and gift baskets for children with Cancer.

13. Give Kids the World!

14. Travel alone or with a friend. 

15. Organize a library at home.

16. Repaint old furniture and sell it. Make some sort of business. 

17. Take up yoga. 

18. Make a series of painting or typography drawings.

19. Make an awesome music video.

20. Do something extraordinary for my parents.

Life is burritoful. 

Outlandish - “Warrior//Worrier” 

On repeat :)

(Source: youtube.com)

What happens when it’s late and I’m bored.

New Beginning

BISMILLAH

Write home soon, darling.

Sunday Night Crust

Everything gets overwhelming sometimes, but you just gotta keep going. Life doesn’t make time for you to slowly digest it as it unfolds. You gotta learn to take every bite with curiosity and wonder and hope that it will all be worth it in the end. 

Machine of Infinity

I keep getting reminded that writing is so beautiful. Words are a magical mystery capable of creating infinite worlds to transport us. 

I want to write and write and keep writing. 

I want to push away the fear that holds me back. Fear of judgement. Fear of truth. 

There is not one world, but many. And tonight I feel like mine is good again. 

I wish life wasn’t so predictable. 

Treasured truffles.